CHAP 1

Jesse was scrubbing out hardened grime and oil streaks from the jeans as she stood over the sink at the 24 hour laundry mat. The kids were out in the car and she glanced through the advertisement paint covered window to check on them. Her roughened hands were rhythmically rubbing the material together. Tsk’ing in disgust, she growled softly at the grease she’d managed to get into the material from her days work down on the docks.

The docks, she snickered, as she reached up with a wet hand and brushed her choppy uneven dark bangs out of her eyes. For the hundredth time she was simply amazed at the changes in her life. Just six months ago she had been attending scheduled board meetings, dealing with customers or up to her eyeballs in tracking accounts and updating spreadsheets. Now she was loading grain bags onto pallets down near the docks for paltry money. But that would change soon. Not because she thought something better would come along. She’d given up on that theory months ago. She just knew the job was short term. Only two day gigs as far as she understood from the guy that selected her and 9 others for the work. And come Thursday she would be standing around again with all the other unemployed at the latest jobsite pickup point. At least her six foot height and broad shoulders was finally helping her out. Incredible, she thought sarcastically. I’m finally equal to compete with men on some scale and it turns out its physical. She tilted her head to the side and cracked her neck to relieve some tension from her irritating thoughts.

The change of her reality was shocking but real. This was her new daily grind now. She would find work, earn enough money to feed, clothe, and make ends meet, just for the day, maybe two, but never mind for the week. It was a constant challenge brought about by the recession.

The same recession that now had once stable companies financially pressured to downsize, letting go of thousands of people from their jobs and careers was a critical factor to her new lifestyle. She was among the atrocious release of thousands of people that were instantly out of work. She was a statistic. No matter how many resume’s, nobody called. Every company she’d contacted was cutting back. Her severance package was only for two weeks pay, even though she’d worked there for twelve years. At the relatively young age of 34 she was unemployed. Unemployment covered just a portion of her income and was only eligible for checks for up to four months. Simply put she ran out of money, maxing out credit cards, and avoiding the landlord. She’d been unable to pay for her condo and was evicted. Peter and Paul stole form Mary to try and keep afloat, as she moved into a motel and officially stored her belongings in a month to month storage unit.

She glanced up from the grease stained pants, at the dirty glass window again, bringing her thoughts around to another worry, the kids. Not her kids, well at least they weren’t from her. That would be near impossible since she was single and a lesbian; gay as the day was long. Even before the turn of events in her life, her wildest romantic interest was a memory of a one night stand with a woman who had nicely shaved legs and full breasts. But she avoided that subject in her mind. She didn’t want to think of how long ago she’d actually been with a lover. It hadn’t been a priority when she was working and it sure wasn’t a priority now. But, the kids were a priority. No, not her kids, but they were in her care whether she liked it or not.

Her worried blue eyes checked on them, then she quickly looked around for other laundry mats occupants. She wasn’t sure if the older lady she’d been next too earlier had left the small box of soap for her or had just left it behind by accident. With nobody nearby she quickly scooped out some grains of the cheap brand and slathered it onto the jeans. Her morals dropped much lower since the kids arrived. A little petty pilfering was simply necessary sometimes. A ton of things had changed in her priority list and she was absolutely certain this wouldn’t be the last.

Just three weeks before she still remembered the odd meeting with Emily and Danny. After spending a few weeks in hotels and between unemployment checks and the last hotel bill, she’d run out of cash. The decision to stay inside her car to sleep was an obvious plan. The weather was chilly but doable, with a few blankets layered over her. She setup a sleeping nest in the front seat, her long legs curved down into the passenger floor board. She somewhat expected to move the car throughout the night as she wasn’t quite sure of where to park without being moved by some wondering cop. She was in a residential area and dozed off in her locked car.

A tapping on her window brought her out of a fitful sleep. She blinked rapidly expecting a cop and was surprised to see two kids looking back in through the glass. A little girl with pale features, tangled brown hair, and big brown eyes looked directly back at her. The boy beside her was her older brother, features too similar for anything else. His uninterested gaze wandered slightly, slowly moving around the interior of the car. Their clothes were dirty and somewhat ratty, hanging on wafer thin bodies. Jesse noted the overly long hair and obvious dirt smudges on their features

The little girl motioned to roll down the window. Jesse complied opening it by a crack.

“What are you doing?” Her scratchy sleep filled voice spoke; she cleared it immediately.

“We’re waiting on you.” The girl stated, calmly, her young voice frank and direct.

Jesse rubbed her tired eyes and tried to focus.

“What are you talking about?” She dropped her hand to her lap, exhausted.

The little girl pointed to the back seat and said “We are waiting for you to let us in. It’s cold.” Her big brown eyes captured Jesse’s darker gaze and Jesse felt an instant loosening of her recently strangled heart. The girl’s deep shiver and tightened grip between her and her brother cut deep with Jesse’s sense of protection. She reached over and unlocked the doors, motioning them inside.

They scrambled inward like only kids can, all clunky and full of limbs. The only difference between normal kids and these two was the extreme quiet. Somehow they’d lost their children’s voices. Now they only spoke when they needed too. And you’d better listen, Jesse learned. Emily just managed to introduce herself and her brother Danny before they both curled up and nodded off. Jesse pushed a blanket to drape over the two before falling back into sleep herself. The three of them were together since.

Jesse laid her wet jeans on a nearby table, spreading them out. She grabbed the much smaller pair of jeans and started the soaping process again. Yes, her priorities had definitely changed. She had to keep the kids clean, fed, and she had to find work. Work gave her money, money gave her gas, and gas took her to the next job. She earned enough money to provide food for her and the kids and more gas for the car. Everything else, such as a roof over their heads, electricity, or heat she would have to figure out as they went along. At least until winter came, and it was definitely well on its way. Just the brittle ice piping from the faucet over her hands made her shrink from the biting cold. She scrubbed harder, worrying as she worked.

Jesse saw Danny staring at the lights of the cars passing by. The young boy easily focused on distractions, his immediate touch with reality noticeably slower than other boys his age. Emily was looking off to the left. Jesse noticed the homeless looking man moving toward the two huge garbage bins to the side of the building. Emily had his attention and he was coming back toward the car. Jesse paused her scrubbing and watched as the young girl handed the man her taco through a crack in the window. He took it and moved away. Jesse growled again and went back to her scrubbing. Tuesday, taco night at Bens for 39 cent tacos, they each had three a piece. If anyone needed to eat the entire meal it was the young girl. She scrubbed harder and tried to figure out just how she had gotten to this place, this world of necessity and need. Used to being carefree and casual about expenses and wants, the truth of it all came down to then and now. The difference was night and day and her dimming hope for a better future that would improve their lives seemed so far distant, she wondered when she’d get there or even if?

RETURN TO TOP

SEND FEEDBACK TO JLNICKYMASTER@YAHOO.COM

CHAP2